so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
