Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize