Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
