currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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