I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I supernannyed him into submission
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
