I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
