Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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