I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
