so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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