Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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