I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
that may or may not have been my penis.
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