waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I smell like Dick and happiness
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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