Just cropdusted the office
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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