haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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