Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He better not be in your backpack
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
