Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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