u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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