i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
