i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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