Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
