Whod you bang
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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