Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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