next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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