Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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