p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
