i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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