Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
