Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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