Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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