When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
