I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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