ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Randomize
