Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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