Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wish I only lived at night.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
