The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
