i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
