I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
