matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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