This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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