I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
