What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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