All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
