I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
