dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
