Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
