hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
being pregnant is like rehab
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
