i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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