I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
