O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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