i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
