Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
