I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
