I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
