Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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