Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
