Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
