One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dear god my vagina.
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