we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
